Jeremy Clarkson

Clarkson in ID theft

Following the recent case where the bank details of 25 million were lost, Jeremy Clarkson was of the opinion that it was a fuss over nothing. He published his bank account details in his newspaper column.

But Clarkson admitted he was "wrong" after he discovered a reader had used the details to create a £500 direct debit to the charity Diabetes UK.

The most surprising thing about the story was the phrase Clarkson admitted he was "wrong"

As I've said before, it's not the fault of the underpaid guy who physically performed the act of copying the data, it's the fault of those higher up who designed a system which was capable of having all 25 million records copied in one go at the click of a button.

On a related topic... ID cards...

(Update: No2ID report this story.... I, along with probably countless others, emailed it to them, so it's no surprise to me!)

Top Gear US Special

At the weekend we watched 'Top Gear'. For anyone that missed it, I strongly suggest that you see the repeat tonight (BBC2, 7pm). Essentially, the whole show was devoted to a road trip in the US. The lads had to buy a car for under 1000 bucks, drive it cross country and then sell the car at the end.

Along the way, they had challenges.

One of the challenges involved 'decorating' the cars of their co-presenters for a drive through Alabama.

Phrases like 'Hillary for President' and 'Nascar Sucks' were used. Hammond got something relating to his CB handle of 'Brokeback' (but I think it was the 'Hillary' and 'Nascar' phrases that were the real problem).

Sufficed to say that what seemed like a bit of a jape suddenly became very serious when every stereotype about life in the deep south suddenly came true. In the Land of the Free, our intrepid heroes were being pelted by stones and chased out of town for expressing a dislike of Nascar.

It went from being very funny, to very uncomfortable viewing, I honestly thought someone would get hurt (and had to remind myself that if theyhad then I would have heard about it via the news!)

James May posts about it here.

Have I got News for You? : Clarkson

Last night we went into London to see a recording of 'Have I got News For You?' Good show this weekm worth watching when it's on tonight (repeated Monday, I think). The Host was Jeremy Clarkson, with Julia Hartley-Brewer (political editor on the daily express, yes, they do politics) on Ian Hislop's team, and Mark Steel on Paul Merton's team. If you ever get a chance to see them, 'The Mark Steel lectures' are great bits of telly, they're not 100% correct in every detail, but they're generally pretty good and are very funny.

Anyway, here's some selected quotes from the recording (as near as I can get them):

Clarkson: I have given up smoking, so you'd all better be well behaved. --- TITLES Paul Merton dances to opening titles (in his chair) --- Hislop (on the Prescott playing croquet whilst running the country): I do think it would've been more terrifying if Prescott had been working. --- Clarkson (on a photo of Cliff Richard going on Holiday): He's not gay.... he's not gay on a startling scale. --- Clarkson: ...they'd like to see a woman in the Deputy Prime Minister's Office.... ... well, we all know where that one's going. --- Clarkson: I'm not used to autocue, I'm 46. I can't read that far.... You know what it says there? 'Paul and Mark answer'.... so fucking answer! --- Hislop (on Big Brother): I enjoyed watching Galloway in it. --- Clarkson: How many bodily fluids do you expect Michael Winner has eaten in his life? (this was about Michael Winner's role as a restaurant critic).

There was a nice story at this point about Michael Winner's cigars. It went that he'd made himself so unpopular with the crew that there was a suggestion that everyone should take a cigar, stick it up their bottom and return it to the box. Nobody refused.... or so the story went. --- Clarkson: Round 3 is the odd one out... round...... that doesn't make any sense, I wouldn't write it like that! --- Julia Hartley-Brewer: Can I talk about your other co-presenter, James May? (there had been a few James Hammond gags) Clarkson: Please do! JHB: About his hairdo - I had the same hairdo when I was four - and I'm a girl! --- Clarkson: I'll start again, I'm going to get it right this time - watch --- JHB: Can I just say that I'm worried I might give birth before the end of the show? Clarkson: Am I beating Vorderman? No, 10 minutes to go. (Carol Vorderman presented last week) --- Clarkson (on the complaints about noise from the ex-aerodrome where 'Top Gear' is recorded): It used to be a World War 2 base, and then a Harrier base, and we've arrived with our little 1.2 and it's 'Ooooh, get the noise!'.... Fuck 'em! (Top gear is recorded as Dunsfold aerodrome in Surrey) --- Clarkson: Oh, I don't know, I'm rambling now. Merton: Unusual for you to leave the car behind. --- Clarkson: Your dog's dead, Jeremy, your dog's dead. (trying to regain composure after making a joke about gassing badgers, something which he has got into trouble for previously, iirc) --- Clarkson: I'd like to thank Ian Hislop and Julia Hartley-Brewer, Paul Martin and Mark Steel. Merton: Paul who? That's my real name. I don't mind. --- PICKUPS (I.e. reshooting the links for editing if needed) Merton told 'the Barry Cryer joke', didn't give it quite the same emphasis as I heard it told before. --- Clarkson (before doing a reshoot of a link): Earlier on you were kind enough to laugh at the jokes in this. I'd like to think that they've matured and become funnier. --- Clarkson: Oh, you want me to say Merton this time? --- Mark Steel (on Top Gear being shown in hotels throughout the world): So... do you have to do a pornographic version of 'Top Gear'? --- (The last thing was to record a trailer) Merton: They're not going to put that out, are they? Clarkson: They are now, because I'm going to refuse to do another one!