Cinema Annoyances

I've just phoned the Odeon booking line. (This is paraphrased)

Them: The Odeon booking number has changed. The new number is 0871 4422007, please redial.

Me: (Muttering) Why not just forward me?


Them: WELCOME! To the Odeon Cinema Booking Line! (it was almost possible to hear the capitalisation) Please say the name of the cinema you're interested in

Me: My Town.

Them: Did you say (random town)?

Me: No

Them: Welcome to the 'Random Town' booking line!

(hang up try again)


Them: Welcome to the 'My Town' booking line!

Them: What service do you require? If you would like film times, please say times. If you would like to buy tickets, please say 'tickets', if you would like...

Me: Tickets

Them: Please say the name of the film you're interested in.

Me: Hero

Them: Did you say 'The Idiots'?

Me: No

Them: Please say the name of the film you're interested in.

Me: Hero

Them: Did you say 'The Idiots'?

Me: Are you taking the piss?

Them: What time would you like to book for?

We did a few more rounds of this, then I managed to persuade it to put me through to a human being.

Me: Ah, thank goodness. Your automated booking system had me going round in circles, it's nice to talk to a human being.

Them: We're not showing a film called human beans, sir.


After some careful explanation using single syllabled words as much as possible, I managed to explain that their automated system was a frustrating pile of donkey droppings. He explained to me that he could not actually take a booking and that I'd have to use the automated system. I think he missed the point I was making.

Fortunately, he had the wherewithall to sense that I was not going to shrug and say 'Oh, okay then', so he put me through to a manager type who dealt with the booking.

I said 'Two adults, one with an OU card'. (Students get a discount - useful). 'What's an OU card?' came the reply. 'Open University - a student card'. 'Erm... hang on, I'll check'.

The annoying thing aboutall this is that by booking I pay an extra fee, the cinema gets more money for hiring less people. I've only got two ways to fight this, 1) boycott the cinemas (ain't gonna happen, at least not yet) or 2) stand in line and buy tickets in person. To my mind, cinema tickets bought in advance should be cheaper.

The trouble is that I can only buy tickets for up to next thursday. I can't even buy tickets for next weekend now (let alone the week after) as the film times aren't released until near the end of the week.